Today, I went to get my ears pierced. While the lady who did mine was twisting my hair up, she told me her life story of how she wants to be a pro hairstylist. She then spent 45 minutes playing with my hair. By the time she was done, it was time for them to close. I never got my ears pierced.
Today, I attempted to score with a previous friend-with-benefits by sending her a photo of my Christmas present, bondage rope. She arrived an hour later in a mad panic. She thought I was going to hang myself.
Today, I had a job interview with a world-renowned forensic psychologist, and it fits my degree perfectly. He didn't want to hire me, but he'd like me to return as a patient.
Today, while hiking in the mountains in North Carolina, I finally got to the deer I had been tracking for almost an hour. I was watching it from about 10 feet away, and enjoying every moment. Within a few seconds, my niece yelled from across the river to ask if I had found it. It ran away.
Today, while out with my family, I happened to run into "the one who got away." She smilingly introduced herself to my wife, who definitely noticed that she and our daughter share the same name.
Today, my internet got shut off. Apparently off-brand "Avengers" porn is better copyright-protected than the actual movie. We looked it up as a joke, didn't watch the whole thing, and now have to visit the Suddenlink office to get our internet back.
Today, my niece stole a bottle of whiskey from me to mix with Monster and get drunk with her boyfriend. It was a bottle of 23-year-old Pappy Van Winkle's that cost over $2000.
Today, my boss continues to think it's appropriate to send me whining texts about work at midnight. Or 4 a.m. I think his complaints about not selling as much candy as he expected can wait till work hours.
Today, I decided to catch a flight to see my boyfriend, who is stationed in the army 300 miles away. When I was just 15 minutes from the base he called to say that we should break up. Now I'm heading back to California, single and broke.
Today, I'm trying to enjoy my first day of unemployment after quitting a high-stress/low-pay job. I just got a text from my ex-boss asking if I could come in for a few hours to show my successors how to do something. I worked 60 hours last week creating thorough how-to guides for everything.
Today, I woke up in a bathtub, completely soaked and covered in both mine and someone else's puke. Happy New Year.
Today, marks the 3rd day I can't access my institutional login. It's also a replacement public holiday, meaning both the library and IT center aren't open too. My 2500 word Stylistics essay is due in two days. I have 0 words and near-0 understanding on the theory my lecturer told me to use.